A wise man once said, “It is better to be single and wish you were married, than to be married and wish you were single.”  Probably, but conventional wisdom like this is far less helpful than the wisdom of the Word.  Whenever we teach principles of marriage, those who are single can feel left out or sad.  Just as marriage is God’s divinely designed solution to “aloneness,” that aloneness is God’s divinely designed dilemma.  Knowing that He designed it brings grace.  Yes, God made marriage for companionship, but being single doesn’t mean you are doomed to loneliness.

When God said, in Genesis 2:18, “it is not good that the man should be alone,” he did not mean that it is not morally good, but that loneliness suggests incompleteness.  (Nor did he mean that women adjust to being single better than men, since it’s not good for the “man,” as one fellow tried to explain.)  It has been suggested that singleness tends toward selfishness since the sacrifices required of married people are not required of single people.  Those who are bitter about their singleness seldom see the selfishness in bitterness.  In the will of God, singleness is actually a blessing.

There are some ministries that God calls people to that can only be done by the single.  Paul taught that there is some benefit in being single so that men can serve the Lord without distraction (1 Cor 7:26ff).  Being single for such service is a gift from God (see vs. 7).  Sometimes God-given circumstances cause people to be single, but sinful thinking robs them of the grace to accept it.  Sometimes God has not gifted a person for living alone, but carnality and immaturity makes him unattractive to potential marriage partners.  One thing is certain, if you are single and miserable, it’s not God’s fault.